Tips for parents on how to properly respond to bad child behavior.

When your two-year-old throws a tantrum on the playground or doesn’t listen to you, it’s easy to lose self-control. Your child’s bad behavior can piss you off.

However, in any situation, it is important to remain calm and cool.

It may seem to you that if you yell at a child, then you will force him to obey. But psychologists say that this will not help. A child cannot cope with his emotions if the adult who is next to him cannot. Therefore, if you want to calm the child, first of all, you yourself need to remain calm.

Let’s look at some ways to stay calm when a child misbehaves.

1. Take care of yourself first

When you’re hungry, tired or overworked, you’re more likely to react to your child’s bad behavior. There are many stereotypes in our society that complaining or taking care of yourself is unacceptable. But don’t blame yourself for that. 

Get enough sleep, eat healthy food, take time for yourself during the day. If you are sick, tired, or just depressed, ask your spouse to babysit.

2. Change yourself to change your child’s behavior

Staying calm when your child is misbehaving can be difficult. You cannot do it automatically. Psychologists say that any undertaking in the upbringing of children must be planned and conscious. 

Come up with a mantra that you will repeat to remember your goal: “I won’t yell at my baby,” “I can stay calm,” or “I love my baby.”

3. Stop and take a deep breath

If you feel like you’re losing your temper, take a deep breath into your belly to let your body calm down naturally. Do this even if you feel a strong urge to react. 

Your brain is telling you things are getting out of hand, but you can remind your body that this is not the case with deep breathing.

4. Find the right place

If you start to feel negative emotions because of your child’s bad behavior, you need to take a break to calm down. You need to take the child to another part of the room, and if he is over 5 years old, to another room. 

Keep taking deep breaths and remember moments when he behaved well. It is much easier to communicate with a child with whom you have many happy moments than with one who has just hit his sister.

5. Set boundaries with respect

If you want to point out bad behavior to a child, do not yell at him, but speak quietly. This will help you express your thoughts clearly and reduce emotional stress. 

It is important to first empathize with the child, and then set boundaries: “I know that you are angry because you love to play with toys and do not want to leave now. But we need to go to the doctor. Pick one toy and we’ll take it with us.”

6. Find the right time to teach a child

Teaching a child good behavior is best when he behaves well. If he throws a tantrum, wait until he calms down, and then remind him of what happened: “Today you behaved badly, and it bothered me. How can we behave differently next time?”

Sometimes it may seem to you that, apart from screaming, nothing can work on the child. But screaming creates fear and can ruin your relationship. You don’t want your child to adopt this behavior from you, do you? 

Give yourself the answer to this question – and you will understand that you can remain calm even with the worst behavior of your child.