Tips to help parents with the parenting process of 2-4 years old children.
Have you ever tried to convince your three-year-old daughter that you can’t go to kindergarten dressed as a princess for five days in a row? Or maybe you felt ashamed when a child threw a tantrum in the supermarket?
Many parents face such situations in the first years of a child’s life. And raising a child in such a period is not an easy task.
2-4 years of a child’s life is a difficult time for parents. It is at this age that children become more independent and begin to show themselves as a person. However, their ability to communicate with others and reason is still limited.
Psychologists say: children understand that their actions matter – by performing certain actions, they can get what they want. Children want to express themselves in a way that they could not do before, in infancy.
But the problem is that they still cannot control themselves and think rationally. For them it is still very difficult.
Let’s take a look at what parenting strategies for 2-4 year olds can be used by parents to make life easier for the whole family.
1. Be consistent
Order and a stable schedule give toddlers a sense of security in an unpredictable world. When a child knows what awaits him during the day, he behaves much more restrained and calm.
Try to stick to the same schedule every day. This means that the child should have a consistent time for sleeping, eating, playing and having fun. If something changes, let your child know ahead of time.
Telling him, “Mommy and daddy are visiting tonight, grandma will be babysitting with you,” will prepare him for the change in routine and prevent bedtime tantrums.
Consistency is also important when it comes to discipline. For example, when a child fights on the playground, for the first time you tell him: “You can’t fight, he is in pain.” Every next time in such situations, you need to say the same thing.
2. Avoid stressful situations
By the time your child is one year old, you will have spent enough time with him to understand what causes him stress. Most often it is hunger, a desire to sleep, or an unusual place. Try to avoid stressors.
Plan your schedule: for example, you should not go to the store when the child needs to go to bed. Make sure your child goes to bed and eats at home at all times.
If you are outdoors with your child, you should always have food on hand in case the child gets hungry.
Your walks with your child should not be long, and you should not stand in long lines with your child. Plan ahead so you don’t have to rush (especially in the morning when you have to take your child to daycare and then go to work).
To avoid stress, involve the child in the process. For example, if you need to get ready for kindergarten quickly, set a timer and tell your child to get dressed when the bell rings. Or, if the child is acting up, you can invite him to choose what clothes to wear today.
Think out loud and let your child know what to expect next in the routine. Children understand much more than they can say.
3. Think like a child
Children are not little adults. It is difficult for them to understand many things that we take for granted. They are not yet able to follow directions, behave in certain ways, etc. Learning to look at situations from a child’s point of view will help prevent tantrums.
You can tell your child, “I understand you don’t want to sit in a car seat. But we need to do it to go to kindergarten.” So you do not force the child, but confirm his feelings.
You need to set the rules, but do it with respect for the child. You will help him learn to cope with life’s difficulties, disappointments, rules and norms.
When you give your child a choice, it also means that you respect him and acknowledge his feelings. When he doesn’t want to get in the car, ask him what he wants to take with him: a toy or some food. So he will feel that he has some control over the situation.
4. Learn to distract the child’s attention
Young children do not know how to concentrate on one thing for a long time. Use this feature to your advantage.
For example, when a child is playing football in the room, even after you have told him several times not to, switch his attention. Invite him to read his favorite book or continue playing outside.
Parents should create an environment at home that encourages good behavior for the child. To do this, you need not punish him, but offer other activities or take him to another room.
5. Take breaks for your child
When a child misbehaves, parents often send him to another room to spend some time there. However, this approach is not well suited for toddlers – they do not learn good behavior, but begin to think that they are bad.
If you do use this method, do not leave the child in the room for more than a few minutes. Instead, use more positive parenting methods.
Create a safe place in the house where the child will not be distracted or annoyed, and where he can rest for a few minutes until he regains control of his emotions. During this time, you will also be able to calm down.
Correct your child’s bad behavior, but don’t forget to praise him for good behavior. If you don’t praise him, sometimes he will misbehave just to get attention. When you praise a child for good behavior, there is a good chance that he will continue to do so.
6. Stay calm
It’s easy to lose your temper when a child throws a tantrum. But if you lose control, it will exacerbate an already difficult situation. If you yell at a child, not only will it not do him any good, in addition, you will feel guilty.
Remain calm even if the child is hysterical. Tell him in a calm tone: “I know” and pick him up. Don’t show any emotion while doing this.
Sometimes the best tactic is to completely ignore the child’s behavior. Act like nothing is happening. When the child understands that he will not achieve anything with the help of a tantrum, he will stop screaming when he is tired.
A child can bring you to the point where you want to spank him. But child psychologists warn against such actions. When parents use corporal punishment, children learn that this behavior is acceptable.
So parents set an example of what children should not do. A much more effective way to deal with bad behavior is to divert his attention or take him to another room to calm him down.
7. Know when to give in
Some things in a child’s life are non-negotiable. He has to eat, brush his teeth, take a bath and ride in a car in a car seat. He can’t fight or bite. But many other questions are not worth arguing over.
If your child wants to wear a superhero costume to the store or insists that you constantly read the same fairy tale to him before bed, give in. When he gets what he wants, it will be easier for you to switch his attention to something else.
Finally, understand that it’s okay to feel stressed sometimes because of your baby’s behavior. No parent is perfect – and you do your best. Over time, your efforts will surely bring the desired result. Be consistent in your actions – and this time will come faster than you think.