In this article, I have collected 20 tips for parents of children 2 – 5 years old from experienced preschool teachers.
Have you ever wondered if your child has a split personality? In kindergarten, the child can clean up after himself toys, put on his own shoes and sit on the potty.
At the same time, at home, he always begins to whimper when you ask him to put things away, demands that you go to the toilet with him and spoon-feed him.
The reason for this behavior is simple: the child is testing your boundaries. He believes that you will love him no matter what. And it is true. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t use preschool teacher strategies to keep your child well behaved at home.
In the article we will consider the advice of kindergarten teachers. Read and take note.
Development of independence
While 3- and 4-year-olds still need parental help with many things, educators say kids at this age are capable of more than many parents realize. And you can develop your child’s independence.
Expect more from your child. All people justify (or do not justify) someone’s expectations – including children of preschool age. When a child goes to kindergarten, caregivers expect that they will be able to pour their own water into a glass, clear the plate after eating and hang their jacket on a hanger on their own. And they do it.
Many of these children refuse to do this at home because their parents do not expect them to be so independent. Raise the bar – and most likely the child will want to meet your expectations.
Don’t do for your child what he can do on his own. Although sometimes it is easier and faster for you to do something for the child, this will not help him become more independent.
You can play on the child’s pride. For example, when you are trying to teach a child to dress or eat on his own, you can ask him: “Do you want to do this yourself or do you want help?”. These words have a magical effect – children always want to do everything themselves.
Don’t redo what the child has done. If your child makes the bed himself, resist the temptation to smooth out the blanket after him. If the child dresses himself and at the same time puts on things that do not fit together, praise him for the original style.
Do not correct what the child has done unless absolutely necessary. Otherwise, the child will notice that you are redoing his work, and this will scare him away.
Let your child solve simple problems. If you see that a child is trying to assemble a designer or get a book from a high shelf, do not rush to help him. Let the child find the right parts of the designer himself or move the stool to reach the shelf.
If the child is safe, do not interfere and let the child solve the problem on his own. This forms his character. Parents want to do everything perfectly, but by doing so they deprive the child of the chance to succeed.
Give your child small chores around the house. Giving your child simple tasks will build their confidence and develop the necessary skills. If you put him in charge of watering flowers or removing clothes from the dryer, he will believe that he can dress himself, clean up after meals, etc.
Just make sure that the tasks you give the child are within his power. It should be a real job and not just a useless thing to keep the child busy. Even preschoolers can feel the difference. Your goal is to make the child feel like a capable and useful member of the family.
Development of cooperation
Look at the children in kindergarten. You will see children playing in groups, lining up before going to lunch, raising their hands to take turns speaking during class, setting the table in the cafeteria, etc. How do educators manage to teach children to work together?
How to get 10 or more children under the age of four to volunteer and willingly cooperate? There is no universal answer to this question, but educators give some advice about this.
Praise is the key to success. This advice works best when the child is not cooperative. Pay attention to the child when he behaves well. Set a good example. Children repeat behavior that draws attention to them.
Create a predictable daily routine for your child. Children tend to cooperate in kindergarten because they know what the caregivers expect of them. In kindergarten, they follow the same routine every day.
Therefore, they quickly understand what they must do, and after a while they no longer need to be reminded.
You shouldn’t set the same schedule at home, but the better you structure your child’s time, the more cooperative they will be. Start by setting a few rules for your child and make sure he follows them.
For example, before breakfast, you need to make your bed and get dressed. After the child came home from the street, he should wash his hands.
Before the parents read the child a bedtime story, he must bathe. Over time, the child will get used to these rules and will follow them.
Turn house rules and responsibilities into a game. If the child refuses to do something, turn it into a game. Play and humor are great ways to develop responsibility in a child, but parents often forget about it.
For example, if your child does not want to put on his own shoes before going to kindergarten, play with him the shoe store game.
Talk to your child like a customer: “Hello! We have a great pair of shoes for you. Would you like to try it on?” The child will probably like it, and he will willingly put on his own shoes.
Let your child know when things change in the routine. If your child throws a tantrum every time you tell him to turn off the TV or stop playing to have dinner or go to kindergarten, you may not have warned the child in advance.
Kindergarten teachers warn children when time for a game or other activity is over so that they finish what they are already doing. Do the same at home.
If you need to leave the house at 8:30 in the morning, let the child know at 8:15 that he has 5 more minutes to play. Then he must put away his toys. Set an alarm to let your child know when their time is up.
Use rewards, but wisely. If a child receives a reward for all his actions, he will not know the real reasons why he does them.
Therefore, it is worth rewarding the child for new achievements (for example, for learning to sit on the potty), but it is not worth rewarding him for everyday activities (for example, for getting dressed or brushing his teeth).
Give your child a choice. For example, if a three-year-old child refuses to sit at the dinner table, offer him a choice: eat at the table with everyone and get dessert, or refuse and forfeit dessert.
At first, the child may make the wrong choice. But as a result, he will sit down at the table, because he will see that the wrong choice does not give him the desired result. However, when you give your child a choice, make sure that one of the options is less attractive to the child.
Don’t use the word “if”. Speak to your child in a language that encourages cooperation.
For example, when you say to a child, “If you put away the toys now, we will go to the park,” it suggests that the child may not put the toys away. Instead, tell your child, “When you put the toys away, we’ll go to the park.”
Put the game first. Many educators argue that children today are less able to be creative in play than they were a few years ago. This is because most of the day children are under the supervision of adults.
Let the child play by himself. You don’t have to entertain him around the clock. Let him get bored sometimes, but this way he will learn to entertain himself. Make sure he has paper, felt-tip marker pens, paints, plasticine and other supplies needed for the game on hand.
Turn on music when the child completes tasks. This will cheer up the child and bring fun to activities that the child may find boring. You can also use music to motivate your child. Ask him, “Can you get dressed before the song ends?”
Encourage teamwork. If you have two kids who are fighting over a toy, set a timer for five minutes. Tell the children that they can take turns playing with the toy. When the timer sounds, one child must pass the toy to the second.
Allow your child to resolve minor conflicts on their own. If you see children on the playground or in kindergarten quarreling, let them resolve the quarrel themselves, if it does not escalate into a fight.
The child must learn to resolve minor conflicts on his own. You can’t always be there to do it for him.
Discipline
Probably all parents at least once in their lives put the child in a corner. Kindergarten teachers don’t do that. How do they manage to teach children discipline?
Try to distract the child. If the child is jumping on the couch or throwing toys around the room, just distract him. Invite him to draw or read a book together.
Prevent your child from having tantrums at parting. If your child throws a temper tantrum when you leave them at daycare, give them something to remind them of you (such as a picture of you or a paper cut heart). Touching something tangible will help the child cope with anxiety and tantrums.
Give your child the opportunity to correct their mistakes. If you see a child drawing on the walls with a felt-tip pen, give him a rag and detergent and offer to wash off the drawing. If he knocked over a block tower that another child built, invite him to build it again.
Don’t delay punishment. If you punish a child for bad behavior, do it immediately when he does a bad deed. Sometimes parents say to the child: “Wait, we’ll be back home …”. But by the time they get home, the child will have forgotten about the incident.
If you cancel your Saturday zoo trip because he misbehaved on Thursday, that won’t solve the problem. Delayed punishment will seem undeserved to the child.